michael medved

As I've made my way through this crazy adventure called life, I keep stumbling over this one fact which can't be avoided: Michael Medved is a complete ass. Not only the worst movie critic of all time, but also a hard-right political commentator (who used to be a liberal activist! And then talked about how he'd "seen the light" or some shit like that, and became this right-wing dick). And I think he lives in Seattle! If I'm not mistaken. I guess his radio show is broadcast from Seattle. Probably lives in Bellevue ...

Remember that movie "Kangaroo Jack?" About some mobsters who get stranded down in Australia, and then have to chase this animatronic kangaroo because somehow all their money got in its pouch? Clearly one of the worst movies of all time, right? But Michael Medved liked it! Because it was family-friendly, and didn't have sex or violence or naughty curse words, etc etc. But then he decided he couldn't write a good review of it, because the director contributed money to Democratic political candidates. I shit you not.

Is Michael Medved gay? (Not that there's a problem with that; I have no problem with anyone being gay) He strongly gives that impression, no? But if he is, he's one deeply closeted son of a bitch. Maybe that's why he took that hard-right turn in his life: he didn't want anyone to guess his true sexual identification. Just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.

Give it up, Michael Medved! You completely suck. In fact, I can't think of anyone in America who sucks more than you.

the name game

Ideas can be a dangerous thing. For every Bill Gates out there with a crazy idea about something like "software," there are probably 99 people who drive themselves into financial and psychological ruin by pursuing their dream. And I have to say I'm teetering at the edge of the abyss right now.

I have no experience in running a Vietnamese restaurant - hell, I've never run any kind of restaurant - but when out of nowhere the greatest name ever for a Vietnamese restaurant strikes you ... well, what are you supposed to do? Just forget about it? And just as it would be very difficult to imagine what our world would be like if Microsoft had never came along, I think someday people will be asking themselves how they ever got by without Pho Sure.

road rage

I'm generally a pretty even-keeled guy, but I do get kind of pissed off at times on the road. More than is healthy for me! And typically I just feel embarrassed and stupid about it later. But I came up with two ways to address this: A) I give myself more time to get to places now. Running late is a surefire recipe for stress and B) I just consider that other people don't drive as well as me. I may not be the greatest driver in the world (I'm no A.J. Foyt) but I'd say I drive better than 95% of the people out there. And looking at it that way, allows me to forgive them.

Feel free to borrow these driving tips! Namaste ...