olympic fever

You know, I just wanna say that Lindsey Vonn is a sweetheart, and I admire her determination and fortitude (not to mention her skiing skills!). But if I hear one more word about her shin, I might send Tonya Harding's ex-husband to whack her in the other leg. Enough already! Suck it up, babe! And the same goes for you, Tiger.

fat tuesday

So I survived my first Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Or rather, I should say that I survived my first pre-Mardi Gras in New Orleans, because I flew out this past Monday. But if you've ever been to the Big Easy around that time, you know that there's plenty going on right before Mardi Gras, mainly a series of massive parades over about a week or so centered in the Uptown area.

There's a so-called Big Three of these parades, and I was lucky enough to hit two of them: Endymion and Bacchus. (And yes, I also made it to the Saints' Super Bowl victory parade, which rivaled the Big Three.) Bacchus, which was on Valentine's Day, was preceded by several smaller parades, so Sunday was like one big all-day parade for me. I was on Napoleon Ave. from about 6:30 am, when we arrived to secure our parade-viewing spot, until about 9 pm. I shit you not. That's how they roll down there.

And if you've been to one of these parades, you know that they're all about sheer, unbridled excess. My friend Troy's kids brought large bags, about the size of a decent-sized backpack, to hold the beads they'd catch, and someone told us that they'd probably fill their bags. I kind of smirked, but then the floats started rolling and the beads just rained from the sky. Not just beads: mini-footballs, drinking cups, toy spears, all sorts of other cheap plastic crap. I literally had the wind knocked out of me by beads. Not a string of beads - a 10-pound bag. Somebody chucked it at me from one of the floats. I saw it coming, just mis-timed the catch because it was getting a little dark and I thought it was a stuffed animal headed my way. Went through my hands and hit me right in the solar plexus. And it was not at all uncommon to see a big bag of beads come flying off a float, interspersed with dozens of individual strands.

I will readily admit that I had a hell of a time catching stuff from the floats, especially since my friend's kids were excited to get all the loot. But I couldn't help but think: what's gonna happen to all the beads? It's not like people in New Orleans walk around draped in them all the time. And we're talking a LOT of beads. Let's say that the total attendance for all the parades was 3 million people (a pretty conservative estimate), and each person got 5 lbs. of beads (even more conservative estimate). That's, like, 15 million lbs. of beads. Every year. I would also estimate that 70 percent of them end up in a landfill within a month of Mardi Gras. I hate to be a wet blanket about the whole thing, but sweet Jesus! But what are you gonna do? Anyone want to join me on a bead-recycling campaign? No? Maybe you just have to let the good times roll ...

now i get it

So I was at work today, and I was making fun of a nurse for being lame, and she said to me, "You know, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." And it was like ... like one of those moments where your life kind of crystallizes, because suddenly you understand something that you'd thought you understood before but really didn't.

In this case, it was Billy Joel's 1980 album "Glass Houses." You know, all these years I thought the album cover showed him about to throw a turd at a glass house. Like he was a punk or something. I mean, he's dressed up like one of The Ramones and all, and he looks angry, and he's definitely throwing *something.* I'd always thought he was pissed off at the residents of the glass house. You know, like "Hey people in the fancy glass house! I'm gonna splatter a turd all over your front window! How you like me now?"

30 years. For 30 years, I misunderstood Billy Joel. How many others like me are out there? Or, I guess the real question is, "Why did Billy Joel have to be so allegorical?" Maybe he was going through some Abbey Road phase or something. Too deep, man. Just too deep ...

that's outrageous!

Welcome to a new feature here at Mad City, where I gripe about some particular thing or other that bugs the heck out of me. Tonight's topic: bands who invite the opening band to come join them in a song during the encore.

So, I went to see Yo La Tengo tonight at the Barrymore Theater here in Mad City. Good show, good show. I like those Yo La Tengo guys a lot. So I applauded loudly when they played their last song, and happily Yo La Tengo came out to play an encore. But then, the lead singer was all like, "You know what? Let's bring Times New Viking out here to play a song with us."

Now, I disagreed with this on many levels. First, in principle, this is just not a good idea. The headline band and the opening band rarely if ever rehearse with each other, so their joint collaboration is usually a step down in quality compared to what the headline band would have played otherwise. Also, it usually takes them about 10 minutes to figure out which song to play. I'm a busy guy! I don't have time for that. And finally, it's typically a mess visually. You've got two drummers, and about 8 guitar players, and they're handing maracas to the extra singer etc etc. Way too many people on stage. If I wanted to see that many people on stage, I would've gone to see Polyphonic Spree.

And then, I just have a grievance with this particular opening band. I was eating dinner when they were playing, and got to the show right after YLT started, so I have *no idea* what their music's all about. And then the name. I don't really care for bands named after fonts. I wouldn't follow a band named Arial, or Helvetica, so I'm sure as hell not going to start with Times New Viking. Lastly, the lead singer was wearing a sweater and a button-down shirt. I shit you not. For a show.

That's outrageous!

so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different

These have been trying times for Mr. Mad City. Which times, you ask? Well, a good chunk of 2009, I would say. I transitioned from being an oncology fellow to a hematology fellow on July 1; and since then, as they say, "life ain't been the same." Busy busy busy! Busy!!! Which is the primary reason why my blogging tailed off so drastically over the past few months, and why you all had to wait on edge for me to complete my Plus 50 addendum.

But no more! I'm not a big believer in New Year's resolutions, since I tend to live my life at close to an optimal level year in and year out, but I vow that I'm gonna kick Mad City up a notch in 2010. And here's how: rage. I'm gonna put the mad in Mad City! I'm pretty opinionated on a lot of things, and I've come to realize that you all haven't been hearing enough of that. The things that concern me the most are when, like, everybody thinks something is good or cool, and it's really not. Like the Arcade Fire. Are they really "all that?" You know, I don't think so. I don't think they're "all that." Something about their music kind of annoys me, actually. I mean, I do really enjoy the first song on Funeral - you'd have to be a blithering idiot not to - but that's pretty close to it, really. At this point, I would almost have to put them in the One Hit Wonder category, except all these critics and other people keep on saying things like, "Ohhh, the Arcade Fire! What a great indie band!"

Not! Believe me when I say that Wolf Parade is a much better Montreal band.

All right, well, that's just a small taste of what lies ahead. And for those of you who like my laudatory comments about various things, like Wolf Parade, let me just say that I will still regularly praise the things I find praiseworthy. I'm actually thinking of doing a recurring feature where I praise one group of things and then diss another group of things. You've probably seen similar features on other blogs or in magazines, with titles like "Cheers and Jeers" or "Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down" etc. I may be working on something like that.

Finally, I'd just like to point out that I'm still keepin' this thing afloat, in spite of the crazy work demands on me. Which is more than I can say for some other so-called bloggers out there. And I know what you're going to say, and my reply is, "Small children are no excuse! You must blog! Despite the work involved in raising them, small children bring pleasure and delight to your life, and that should facilitate your blogging." And with that, I will close with another refrain from my theme song, "Where Have All the Bloggers Gone" (sung to the tune of "Where Have All the Flowers Gone"):

Where have all the bloggers gone?
Biscuit's a-jammin'
Where have all the bloggers gone?
Concords got stomped
Where have all the bloggers gone?
Can't find Manuka

When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

50 other great albums, in no particular order: part 5

Holy schmikies! Has it been over a month since I last updated this list? I guess I got sidetracked by my Joke of the Day: Holiday Version project, which took up a solid 2 weeks of my time and concentration leading up to Christmas. But now that I'm free to take on other assignments, let's get back to bidness, shall we?

41. Joanna Newsom, The Milk-Eyed Mender. Remember how I once wrote that John Entwistle is the greatest French horn player in rock 'n' roll history? Well, Joanna Newsom snatched the title of Premier Rock Harp Player with this, her debut album. She may sing like Olive Oyl, but she plays the harp like an angel and can write a mean ditty. Plus, I discovered her totally serendipitously - she was opening for the great High Llamas at a show in Seattle about 5-6 years ago. Almost as good as the time I went to see Bush and wound up with The Toadies ...

42. Red House Painters, Red House Painters. When I set out on my list-making odyssey, one of my stipulations was that I would not include greatest-hits albums. And if I had known that Red House Painters (aka Rollercoaster) wasn't a greatest-hits album, it very well might have cracked my Top 50. So many good songs on here! And even on the songs which aren't quite as good, Mark Kozelek still sounds like a million bucks. Really, one of the unique and great voices in independent music. "New Jersey": certainly one of my all-time favorite songs. "You're an American girl/red-headed, eyes blank/living in a freckle on the face of the world." Damn! Opening lines of songs just don't come better than that. Make sure you check out both the acoustic and electric versions - almost like two whole different songs.

43. The Residents, The King and I. I might not have known another moment of true peace in my life if I hadn't included this, the greatest Elvis cover album of all time. It's chilling, just chilling! Hope you're satisfied, B-Phat ...

44. Vic Chesnutt, Is the Actor Happy? Vic Chesnutt died this Christmas, a victim of suicide at the age of 45. He suffered a spinal-cord injury in a car crash at age 18 and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and wrote songs that could accommodate his physical limitations on the guitar. So is that why I included him on the list? No. This album really is good. He was a hell of a songwriter, and had the voice to match his cynical views. Another good one to check out: Sweet Relief II: The Gravity of the Situation, featuring all sorts of big-name artists (even Madonna!) singing Vic's songs.

45. Modest Mouse, This is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About. There was a time when I could tolerate Isaac Brock's quirky lyrics and singing style; and that time was 1996, back when this album was released. I haven't cared all that much for anything they've done since, though I haven't checked out everything. "Polar Opposites" is probably one of the worst songs to ever get a bunch of raves from reputable music critics. "Tundra/Desert," which is on This is a Long Drive, is undoubtedly MM's best song.

46. Silkworm, Developer. Another one of those random bands, who I had heard something about, then saw one of their CD's at a used-record store, and bought it, and ended up loving it and listening to it a bunch, but never checked out any of their other stuff. What is wrong with me, anyways??? In fact, I'm gonna go to the Madison Public Library website right now and see if they have any good Silkworm. But by all means, check out this album.

47. The Pants, Eat Crow. The Pants are the greatest non-Phish band to ever come out of Burlington VT. Or maybe the greatest ever? I'm just not much of a jam-band guy. Unfortunately, The Pants had already disbanded (ha ha) by the time I took up residence in Burlington. From what I read about them, they were an agreeable bunch of semi-nerdy types who were one break away from hitting the big time. Christ, I don't even know if you can find their music on Amazon.com now! If you can, try downloading the MP3 for "Intruder Alert" - it's an awesome tune.

48. Gary Numan, whatever album he put out that had "Cars" on it. Is there a better song out there than "Cars?" Seriously. It came out - what? In the 1970's? And it still sounds fresh as a daisy. Gary Numan may be the quintessential one-hit wonder, but what a hit! An inspiration to all the one-hit wonders of the world, from Dexy's Midnight Runners to The Outfield to Chumbawumba.

49. Supertramp, Breakfast in America. Are you kidding me? Did I almost leave the Tramp off my Bonus 50 list? I guess this has been a little skewed toward more recent music; but definitely, Supertramp belongs on here. If the only song they had ever released was "The Logical Song," they could have still considered their careers to be a success. But this album has other great tunes as well: "Goodbye Stranger," the crazy klezmer title track, etc etc. A classic!

50. (blank) And here's where we come to the conclusion of my music listing; and in honor of all my readers, I'm leaving this one blank. You can insert whatever you'd like here. Go on, give it a shot! Do you think John Fahey belongs here? He's all yours. Western State Hurricanes? What the hell, go for it. (Just don't try to slip in Modest Mouse, Som, since I broke down and included them up above there.) The Goo Goo Dolls? Hmmm. Eh, all right.
You people deserve this. You stuck with me, even when my month of service on the inpatient hematology ward grievously delayed this final installment, and I won't soon forget your dedication. This one's for you. Cherish it and make it last, because I'm absolutely spent.

joke of the day #7: holiday version

Q: What did the lamb say as it was about to be prepared for Christmas dinner?

A: "Baaaaaaaaaa humbug"