big city livin'

So I know what a lot of you out there are thinking: "T-Shizzle, you're kickin' it in New York right now, true? So how's that goin'?"

Well, that is definitely true, and I've definitely been remiss in not posting more about my time here. Guess I've just been too busy with the ladies! (no, not really) Actually, I don't think anyone in the whole city has said a word to me, except for the bus driver. But I'm still keepin' it real. And I've had a few adventures. But this is a complex place, in a lot of ways. It hasn't been all fun and games, 24/7. Let me give you an example, so you can feel me:

So today, I decided to go this place in Greenpoint (near Williamsburg in Brooklyn), Peter Pan Donuts, that is reputed to have the best donuts in the whole city. So I decide to take the 62 bus out there, and go to the bus stop, and the bus comes about 15 minutes late. And the ride takes about 10 minutes longer than I thought. So I'm already running almost a half-hour later than expected, all for some donuts. So I walk to this place, planning to get a couple donuts and a coffee and chill for a bit, but every damn seat in the place is taken. Even though it's noon. Who eats donuts at noon? Lots of people, I guess, all because Tina Fey raved about this place in Esquire a few months ago.

So I get my donuts to go, and decide to walk to nearby McKarren Park and eat in the park. And keep in mind that it's about 90 degrees out. So I get to the park ... and all the shaded benches are taken. Geddoudaheah! I can't sit in the donut place! All I want is a spot in the shade in the #!*^!# park! But this is New York, and this kind of thing happens a lot.

But, you know, it was still a beautiful day. And a nice park. And I knew that after I finished my donuts, I could be at any one of a dozen famous places (Statue of Liberty, Yankee Stadium, Central Park, the UN, etc etc) within a half-hour. Where else could you do that??? Not Tokyo, that's for sure.

So how were the donuts? Well, I've never been much of a Tina Fey fan; and all I can say is, she was wrong again. She's obviously never been to Top Pot Donuts in Seattle, or even that little place up near Northgate Mall. But, they weren't bad. And if I'm ever talking to someone about New York, and they ask me if I've ever had Peter Pan donuts, I can now reply, "Yes, indeed I have" ...

summer of the british mindfuck

Oh man, I don't think I'm ready for this! People, within a few days, this summer is gonna turn into The Summer of the British Mindfuck. You know what I'm talking about, right? Christopher Nolan's latest feature, "Inception," will be hitting the theaters, and I just know it's gonna fuck my mind right up.

He's done it before, after all. The year was 2000; the movie, "Memento." Remember that little honey? Man, it blew my mind right out of the fucking water. The whole thing went backwards! How the FUCK did he come up with that??? I don't know, but I get the sense that he's prepared to do it again. And check this out: he's got CGI this time. I don't think "Memento" had any CGI, except maybe for that one scene with Carrie-Anne Moss in the phone booth.

Jesus H. Christ! I don't think I'm ready for this! I'm still not quite recovered from "Memento." And you wanna add "Inception" on top of that? Holy horseshit.

I know what some of you are thinking: what about the Nolan-directed Batman movies? Weren't they British mindfucks as well? Well, you may have a point. But they also had the familiar Batman back story to keep them somewhat grounded. Who knows what insane hijinks are gonna take place in "Inception?" The sky's the limit, babies ...

coping skills

Well, today was kind of a tough day for me here in the big city. I had a bunch of stuff to do in Manhattan, but a place I'd read about had gone out of business and then I went to the Cooper Hewitt Museum because they allegedly don't charge admission on Tuesday evenings, only to find the museum closed. And when I got back to Brooklyn, all I wanted to do was chill for a while at the neighborhood coffee house, but it was packed. And on top of that, it was really hot out today! I was just sweaty all day. By the time I got home, my shirt was half-soaked and it felt like I was wearing a wet diaper.

People, you know what you call that? A bad day. Fortunately, I've come up with my own unique way of dealing with days like this. First, I'll make myself a soothing and mood-boosting drink, like a green tea smoothie or nice chai spritzer. Then I play the song "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter a few times. It's so uplifting! Even though he's singing about a bad day, it reminds you that other people have bad days too, and that things will get better. Then, I usually snuggle into a nice hot bubble bath (or on a day like this, a cold bubble bath, LOL!). And then I'll curl up on the sofa and watch some TV. And if I'm lucky, one of my favorite characters, like Izzie or McDreamy from "Grey's Anatomy" or Carrie from "Sex and the City," will also be recovering from a bad day. Usually, this occurs with the song "Bad Day" playing in the background.

It doesn't always have to go exactly like that for me. Once in a while, I can make do without the smoothie, or the bath, or the candles, or even Izzie. But I *need* "Bad Day" to come down from a bad day. That part is non-negotiable, thank you very much.

an exorcism

Well, I've tried everything I could think of to shake the J-horror crew from my tail, but they're relentless. Still not sure what I did to stir up the wrath of these cyber-wraiths, except maybe for blogging too excellently. All I know is that something needs to be done; desperate times call for desperate measures.

Anyone even casually acquainted with the J-horror genre should know about the "hungry ghost" phenomenon. This is when a spirit shows an amazing tenacity in pursuing its prey; basically, the only way to throw off the spook is to divert it to a different target. Consider "The Ring": once you've seen the videotape and gotten the phone call, your only chance is to make a videotape for some other unlucky sucker to stumble across. That's it! There's no other way out.

So, I've got 3 words to share with this sadistic bunch that's been hounding me for months now: "Concords are better." It's an American blog even more modest than mine, if that's possible, and just ripe for haunting. The author doesn't even have the wherewithal to diss "Mr. Roboto" or the Japanese World Cup team, two of the more effective maneuvers I pulled to create confusion and temporary uncertainty in the spirit world. And he hasn't written anything in months! He's defenseless! Hell, there's even a link to the site from my home page. What more could you ask for?

All right, chijins, there's my offer. You can't pretend any longer that I'm the ideal target for your terrifying cyber attacks. It's time to take your ghostly business elsewhere. Happy stomping ...

the circle of life

They're back! The cornflowers are back! The weather seasons changed last fall, and all the widflowers went away, but now the cornflowers are back. (Actually, they've been back for over a month now, but I've been too busy following the World Cup ...)

Nature is truly a miracle, isn't it? Wisconsin is gripped with snow and freezing temperatures for months on end, and yet the cornflowers appear again year after year. They're hardy, too! They grow like weeds. Such pretty blue flowers, and yet they grow like weeds ...

The tiger lilies grow like weeds around here, too. They're also very nice.

sweet, sweet success

Paraguay! Woo woo! Well done, muy muchachos! You strike the ball with such power and precision. The Japanese goalie truly had no opportunity against your thunderous strikes. You acquitted yourselves well, and struck a dagger into the heart of the Rising Sun, and now Asia is kaput in the World Cup.

Truly a momentous match. My hat is off to you, neighbors to the south. Woot.

wavves

Ever get obsessed with an album? As in, you're into it so much that you listen to it compulsively, over and over again, until you're sick of it and it's out of your system, or you've at least gotten to the point where you're not so compulsive about it?

So, I heard about this band Wavves a while back. A San Diego surf/skate punk type of outfit, which is ordinarily not my kind of thing, but there were some other interesting details which made me decide to check them out. Literally. I borrowed their self-titled CD (actually their second release) from the public library here. And listened to it over and over again. Then bought a copy. And I still *cannot* stop listening to it, at random times when I know I should be listening to something else in order to expand the repertoire of musical artists I'm cognizant of.

Why? I don't know if I can explain, exactly. I'm not really a music critic, even if I put together Top 50 lists like one. It's not for the lyrics, which revolve around your typical California subjects like surfing, beaches, skateboarding, love, etc. It's not for the song titles: over half of the 14 songs have either "Goth" or "Demon" in the title (Goth Girls, Beach Goth, Weed Demon, etc). And I swear, most of the songs have some guy who sounds like someone's mentally-challenged cousin singing backing vocals in this doo wop-pseudo-Beach Boys type of manner. But ... overall it's this completely unabashed, take-it-or-leave-it, straight-ahead kind of driving punk pop, and it's just done brilliantly. The third song, "To the Dregs," is one of the catchiest songs you could ever hope to hear, and there's a couple other great ones later on. In between ... well, there's one song near the end that's just dissonant noise and wordless jabbering. But all the sudden, it segues into this Native American drum beat and lyrics about going to a chapel etc etc. And it works! It all works. You just have to listen to it, repeatedly.

Got no car
Got no money
I got nothin' nothin' nothin' not at all ...