justin bieber, part I

Hey u justin bieber why u be wiggin' kid? Ur hair looks stoopid. My gen had better teen idols like d lee roth & adam ant so suck on that.

(137 characters. I'm on a roll, babies!)

the golden arches, part I

Hey, why doesn't McDonald's sell corn on the cob? Come to think of it, they don't have corn on their menu at all! That's just ludicrous.

(136 characters, including spaces ...)

takin' it to the tweet

Hey, I've got a new idea for this tired old blog: limiting myself to 140 characters or less. Such a limit should ease the pressure on me to fill this space with prose and beauty, which in turn would I think lead to more frequent entries. And that's what everybody wants, isn't it? Instant gratification? "What have you done for me lately?" Etc.

Frankly, I'm tired of all the bitching and moaning about how there's not enough Mad City in you people's lives. (Did I do that right, by the way? You people's? That seems a little off to me, for some reason ...) I mean, it's nice to be wanted, but I've also just a real life to lead, not just this virtual existence. So you're going to end up with just what you wanted: quantity over quality. The monkey's paw.

So let's see how that turned out ... 757 characters? 143 words? Is it 140 words or characters that you're limited to on Twitter? Jesus, this is impossible! How do the kids do it these days?!? Those poor bastards. I never realized how tough it was to be part of Generation Y. Guess I've got my work cut out for me ...

toast is the most

I'm not gonna lie to you people: I really like toast. I eat it just about every day. And not just for breakfast! It's one of my favorite nighttime snacks, with lemon curd or a good raspberry jam and my daily protein shake.

And here's something else: when I make a sandwich, I make it on toast. Ordinary bread just doesn't "cut it" for me, ha ha. It's gotta be toast.

Two reasons for the toast post: a public acknowledgement of my love for toast was long overdue. Also, I haven't blogged for about a month, and I just had to bang something out. And when you're in a situation like that, you usually end up turning to something close to your heart.