number 14

14. Paul Simon, Graceland. Notice anything different about the blog? Other than I haven't published anything in 2 weeks, LOL? I have replaced my old computer, which was giving me fits, with a powerful Gateway model which I purchased like 2 months ago but didn't hook up until this past weekend. Vista power, baby! Not that I really wanted Vista - I would've been perfectly content with XP, just needed some faster Internet action etc etc - but Vista came with the computer.

But I digress. Graceland. Who can deny that this was a seminal album in American music history? Well, probably plenty of people; but I'm still going to make that case. Obviously, world music existed before this album, but how many great-rock-albums-influenced-by-world-music were there? Huh? Clearly, Paul Simon set a precedent here. And what an amazing comeback for the former Simon and Garfunkel-er! He just came out of nowhere with this baby, kind of like David Bowie with Let's Dance, maybe.

Some will say that albums like Graceland have bastardized world music, replacing the authentic sound of other cultures with white male sensibilities. Well, speaking for myself, I have to say that I like my world music filtered through the musical tastes of aging white folk heroes with receding hairlines. It works for me just fine. Because how many people discovered the music of Ladysmith Black Mambazo through this album? Me, for one; my hand's in the air. And also, a lot of the people who were critical of Paul Simon for this album remind me of Derek Mazzone, the narcissistic host of Wo' Pop on KEXP. I never could stand that guy's show, and his voice. Ugh! No matter which country's music he played - Botswana, Kazakhstan, Bolivia - he always thought he pronounced the song names with the correct accent. Kind of a jackass.

Anyhow, I digress again. Beyond its historical importance, this album is great cover-to-cover, especially the fantastic title track and "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes." I was never that crazy about "You Can Call Me Al," but I do really like "Crazy Love." "Homeless": wonderful a cappella song. Such a great album in so many different ways ...

numbers 15-16

16. Liz Phair, Exile in Guyville. I'm just going to come right out and say it: this is the greatest rock album ever by a solo female artist. It was just an astonishing feat. Back in the mid-90's, there was a blitz of "righteous babe" type albums from women artists like Ani DiFranco and Four Non-Blondes and Paula Cole, encouraged by their growing prominence in independent music and maybe trying to stake their claim as the most righteous of them all. And some of them were quite good. But then along came Liz Phair with this debut album, sounding alternately wounded and defiant and vulnerable. And, well ... oversexed. (Was I imagining that part? Someone might need to back me up here.)

As a sex kitten's response to the Rolling Stones' Exile on Main Street, this album couldn't have hit the mark any better. But you don't really need to know the backstory to realize that there are some great, great songs on here. In fact, a freakishly large number of of them fall into the "great, great" category, led in my opinion by "Mesmerizing." And I say "freakish" because little that Liz Phair has subsequently done has come close to matching her first album. What happened? I don't know. But it makes Exile in Guyville seem that much more intriguing and unique.

15. Public Enemy, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. This one goes neck-and-neck in my book with Public Enemy's next release, Fear of a Black Planet. How can I possibly leave off the album with "Fight the Power" on it? Well, it was a tough call. And I will give readers the option of substituting Fear in for Nation in this slot if they so choose.

But I digress. I'll just tell you right now that this is the only rap/hip-hop album on my Top 50. Snoop Dogg is not going to come out of nowhere to bum-rush the Top 10. I've actually made a decent attempt to appreciate hip-hop as an art form, and it just hasn't clicked for me most of the time. (Latest group that I researched and ended up being underwhelmed by: A Tribe Called Quest.)

For the most part, I think rap is an ingeniously-marketed commodity to extract money from unsuspecting members of a key demographic group (impressionable white dudes ages 16-25 with too much money and anger), and "sampling" is a sad excuse to cover up the lack of creativity that seems to be endemic in commercial rap. But there's no denying the talent behind Public Enemy's music, especially on these two albums. I'm sure Chuck D would disagree with most or all of what I've written here, and that saddens me. Because I have as much respect for Chuck D as a musician and songwriter as just about anyone else. You too, Flavor Flav. If I had cable, I would watch "Flavor of Love" far more often.

Damn! You know, it's just about killin' me, having to choose Nation over Fear for this slot. So I'm going to recite some of my favorite lyrics from "Fight the Power":

Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant shit to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Mother fuck him and John Wayne
Cause I'm Black and I'm proud
I'm ready and hyped plus I'm amped
Most of my heroes don't appear on no stamps
Sample a look back you look and find
Nothing but rednecks for 400 years if you check
Don't worry be happy
Was a number one jam
Damn if I say it you can slap me right here

Fight the power, bitches! Word to your mother ...

a solo act

Until I published my review of Sonic Youth's Evol last night (see the entry "# 17"), I'd gone nearly 2 weeks without writing anything here. And believe me, that was distressing for me . But you have to understand, I've been damn busy at work recently, trying to get stuff done so I could motor back east for a weeklong visit (which I'll detail at another time).

Even more distressing, though, was that as I was grinding through this tough period at work and looking for occasional distraction online, I discovered that many of my colleagues and peers in the blogosphere had also gone silent. Now, the odds that all these people would also be hit by a major crunch at work, at the very same time as me, seemed remote, especially since we don't work together. How to explain it, then? I don't know. But the sad thing is, these people tricked me into venturing into the blogosphere, and then apparently snuck out and locked the door behind me. So, I have written a song to explore my feelings about this, to the tune of Pete Seeger's "Where Have All the Flowers Gone." Here goes:

Where have all the bloggers gone
Concords are shriv'ling
Where have all the bloggers gone
Biscuit's just dough
Where have all the bloggers gone
Can't find manuka
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

I'll publish the remaining verses once I've completed my Top 50 countdown. Peace out ...

number 17

17. Sonic Youth, Evol. Something tells me I'm gonna catch some flak for this one, too. Because Daydream Nation seems to be the consensus "best" Sonic Youth album; and then, there're the people who are gonna demand Top 10 placement for Sonic Youth; and then, there're the people who've never heard of Sonic Youth (not too many of them, though, fortunately). And of course, also the people who object to excessive use of semi-colons ...

But you know what I say to all of them? Sue me. Just sue me. You don't scare me. The only thing that scares me is ... this freaky album cover. What the heck is up with this album cover? Is she the Blair Witch?

But anyhow, I'm digressing, because I'm a little intimidated at the prospect of writing about Sonic Youth. Their music is deep, man, and I'm not sure if I understand all of it. But I know what I like, and this is the first Sonic Youth album I ever heard (college radio station, freshman year) and still my favorite. "Tom Violence" is such a laconic, beautiful tune, so quintessentially Sonic Youth, and "Star Power" kicks out the jams as much now as it did back then. This was also the first SY album to feature Steve Shelley, who I think is an underappreciated and excellent drummer.

There is some degree of Lifetime Achievement status with this pick, considering how amazing it is that Sonic Youth has lasted as long as they have without ever really compromising their principles (and with 2 of the members being married!). And also, that several of them were apparently almost done in by Daniel Johnston at one point. That's some amazing shit, man. And yes, one could make a case for Daydream Nation (although the songs "Eric's Trip" and "Kissability" annoy me quite a bit for some reason), and maybe an even stronger case for Goo. But given the choice of having any of these play on my headphones when "American Idol" comes on TV, I'm gonna stick with Evol ...

numbers 18-20

20. Talking Heads, Fear of Music. This is not exactly an obscure album, but probably not the one most people think of when they think 'Talking Heads.' The only song on here that's familiar as a Talking Heads hit is "Life During Wartime," which is a great song but not even one of the best on the album in my OP. David Byrne is a hell of a musician - the Talking Heads earned this Top 20 spot in part for his solo work as well as their own oeuvre - and he was on his game for Fear of Music. Most of the songs are just nouns - Mind, Paper, Electric Guitar, Drugs, etc - all wrapped up in a plain black cover.

Amazing what could happen when David Byrne fixated on a bunch of nouns. "Heaven" is such a great tune, man. You can make a case for 77 over Fear of Music, but I was never the hugest fan of Speaking in Tongue or Little Creatures, so don't go there. (Especially if you're one of those people who still thinks This Year's Model beats Punch the Clock as Elvis Costello's best work, which is just a complete fallacy. More on that later, maybe ...)

19. The Pixies, Doolittle. This will always be the ultimate alternative album to me: the album that these people who worship Van Halen and Aerosmith and so forth will have never heard of, but which blows away the best that Van Halen and Aerosmith and their ilk ever had to offer. Doolittle didn't get played on commercial radio; it didn't pander to AOR programming. All the glory that Doolittle enjoyed was through college radio, and music magazines, and word of mouth. And ... the movie "Pump up the Volume." OK, I'll admit that too.

What more can I say about Doolittle? Every song is great; every song is different. Every song stands on its own, but when you listen to the album straight through they all have their own special part in the overall greatness. The album starts off huge ("Debaser") and finishes huge ("Gouge Away"). There's so much to explore and enjoy in between. And lastly, I never thought I'd see the Pixies live, but I was there a few years ago when they played Bumbershoot during their reunion tour. Boo yah! I thought I'd have to be satisfied for the rest of my life with Number 13 Baby (who were, in fact, a pretty good Pixies cover band), but then the real Pixies came back, and it was just an immensely satisfying experience.

18. The Sex Pistols, Never Mind the Bollocks. Back in the late 80's, Rolling Stone magazine stunned a lot of people by ranking Never Mind the Bollocks as the 2nd-most important rock album, behind only Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. All that I remember from my youth about the Pistols was this story that circulated in my junior high school, about how they pushed safety pins through their cheeks and other depraved sorts of behavior. It wasn't until years later that I heard the album, and maybe a while after that before I really appreciated it. Perhaps you had to be around when it was released to see the impact it had on rock 'n' roll, the spawning of the punk movement, etc. All I know is, it's still a great album. The quality kind of drops off after "God Save the Queen," but there's still some all-time great songs here. The one-two punch of "Holidays in the Sun" and "Bodies" to start the album: hard to beat it.

The ironic thing is, I suspect that if the members of the Sex Pistols knew way back when that they were creating something that would be revered years later as a rock 'n' roll milestone ... well, what would they have done? I think they would've just puked on everyone, or maybe all OD'ed on heroin. Weren't they just trying to piss everyone off? See how ironic that is? You try to piss everyone off, and instead you create a masterpiece ...

numbers 21-22

22. Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. There's a dude I know who's also doing a Top 50 list, and earlier tonight he mentioned "Bennie & the Jets" in passing, so I figured it was time to bring out GYBR before he beat me to the punch. But really, this album belongs to me. This was one of the very first albums I recall listening to as a kid, on the old record player behind the cabinet in the living room. I didn't actually know how to work the record player: I listened at the whim of my oldest brother. He owned this, and Queen's A Night at the Opera, and some Rush, and sadly also some stuff like April Wine and Nazareth.

I don't know if I really appreciated the brilliance of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road at that tender age - I do recall thinking that Elton John seemed like a rather "fancy" guy - but this is one of those albums that's truly stood the test of time. The whole sweeping odyssey of "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding." The blistering pace of "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting." The sweet melancholy of the title track. Buh-buh-buh Bennie and the Jets. Sigh. Some of my earliest rock memories! Of course, GYBR also had some clunkers like "Jamaica Jerk Off" ... but what do you expect from a double album? I'm not the absolute hugest Elton John fan in the world, but I think this is his crowning achievement, and undeniably a classic.

21. Philip Glass, 1000 Airplanes on the Roof. Look out! Here comes controversy! Because Philip Glass ... well, you either love him or hate him, or don't know about him. And of the people who love him, I think, very few would choose this album as his most outstanding representation. And maybe it's not, if you judge it critically and weigh its parts and compare it to some modern-day Glassian juggernauts like Einstein on the Beach and Koyaanisqatsi. But ... I love it! I really do. It's got the distinctive Philip Glass sound, and this incredible vibrancy and energy, and then there's Linda Ronstadt warbling these beautiful otherworldly wordless vocals like some siren out of Star Trek, and the theme revolving around people who've experienced alien abduction, and the fact that it debuted in an airport hangar ... damn. It gives me shivers just to think about it.

Maybe some of you people haven't considered this recently, but Philip Glass really is one of the giants of modern American music. Some of you would also mention Steve Reich - OK, what's he done? Maybe he's written some great works; but my point is, Philip Glass has put out 10 times as much great material as some people considered to be American masters. That makes him a giant, and I am trying to include the deserving giants here as much as possible, while also paying tribute to underappreciated works by bands like Young Marble Giants.

(And speaking of giants, anybody out there seen the Watchmen movie? There's one scene in the movie - my favorite part in the book - where Dr. Manhattan secludes himself on Mars. Now, one of my criticisms of the movie was Zack Snyder's erratic and occasionally ham-handed use of music, but his use of "Prophecies" from Koyaanisqatsi in this scene was perfect. Just shows how hard it is to make a great movie without some Philip Glass in the soundtrack. And FYI, once I'm done with all this nonsense, I plan to publish my list of Top 50 Soundtracks; and trust me, Philip Glass is going to f&*!#*ing rule there ...)

vampire weekend ...

Vampire Weekend, what's the buzz? How do you say "overrated" with a Brooklyn accent? The European tours, the Rolling Stone covers, the glowing reviews: how did this happen? Trust me, in 5 years, there are going to be many people embarrassed by the fact that they bought so heavily into this.

I mean, I have no personal animosity against the band members; I'm sure they're all decent fellows. And if I had gone to a campus party, somewhere back east, and heard Vampire Weekend for the first time there ... I might have talked about it with others afterward. Maybe. I might have found them good for a local college band.

But basically, they've been handed to me, and you, and everyone else, as the Next Big Independent Thing. And that shit don't fly. You feel me?

Vampire Weekend is like Phish Lite, then dialed down just a notch or two. And "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" is the most precious song title of all time. Now, I don't know what a kwassa kwassa is - it may be the coolest f*&#%!!ing thing on the planet, for all I know - but it does NOT belong next to "Cape Cod" in any context, song titles especially.

VW also has this song that sounds exactly like Tom Petty's "Don't Do Me Like That," except the singer does this little squeaky thing with his voice at the end of each line. And that's precious, too.

Did any of you out there mistakenly think I was putting Vampire Weekend in my Top 50? Good god. Once again, it's nothing personal - I was just bitterly disappointed. So much buzz ...