mccain-palin, part two

Well, I know you're all expecting some news about my trip out to Cally ... but the election's less than a week away! And somehow, I neglected to get past Part 1 of my running series on the McCain-Palin ticket until now. I know there's still some undecided voters out there, especially in my blogosphere, so here goes:

John McCain. What can I possibly say about him, that hasn't already been said? Well, how about this: remember the 2004 race? And how, at one point, there was talk that John Kerry had approached McCain to be his running mate on the Democrat ticket? I would have been all right with that. I think it would've worked, both in the election and in the Oval Office. I respected McCain then, even if I didn't agree with some of his political views. And I still respect what he went through in Vietnam, and the valor he showed. But there's nothing like winning the Republican nomination, and kissing right-wing ass, to bring out someone's ugly side. And I know less about McCain's views than about how pissed off he is about Obama's views. What kind of a campaign is that?

How about this for a scenario? McCain wins the election. Here's what his (few remaining) supporters will be saying in 2010: "Well, the war's still going, and the economy still sucks, and the rest of the world hates us more than ever. But isn't it inspiring what he did 45 years ago in Vietnam?"

And Palin? I really don't think I can add anything there, and I wouldn't even know how to begin recapping what others have said. Wait, I've got an idea: how about her participation in a religious movement that believes that demonic forces have taken over parts of the country? I am not making this up. If that isn't enough to scare the bejeebers out of you, then what is?

on vacation

Speaking of energized colons, I'm heading out to San Francisco tomorrow for a quick visit. (Hey people! Hey now! Settle down! I am straight, but totally not narrow. C'mon! Hey now!) Anyways, I'm planning to see my friends Som and Leah and also my friends Dean and Caroline. And catch some rays! According to Yahoo! Weather, it's supposed to get up around 80 every day I'm out there. Meanwhile, it's been in the high 30's here this week when I've been biking to work in the a.m.

So my blogging may taper off for the next few days. Just relax - we'll all get through this OK ...

Maureen Dowd ...

... looks so much like my friend Brian's sister Christine! Ohmigod! We're talking "separated at birth" similar! This is freak-ay!

And don't take that the wrong way, Christine. I totally respect Maureen Dowd! She writes a great column! It's not like I'm comparing you to Ann Coulter or anything.

a-maize-ing

People, can you believe they're still making corn-on-the-cob here in Mad City? I just got some at our awesome farmers' market the other day. I go to the farmers' market every Saturday, wondering if this will be "the" weekend when I will find no corn. But it's still going on. I think there were only two booths this weekend that still had corn. But all it takes is one, baby! All it takes is one.

To be honest, all this corn-shopping has been a bit of a drag at times, since I can't really do any out-of-town Saturday trips and miss the market until I'm sure that corn season is over. But on the plus side, my colon has been totally energized since, like, late July. If any of you had come out to Mad City this summer, you probably would have noticed the extra spring in my step ...

other things that annoy me

These two fucking guys! I cannot stand them! What were the people at ABC thinking? "Hmmm ... why don't we see how many smug bastards we can fit on one show?"
And I swear to you, I don't even watch "Grey's Anatomy." I was at the gym yesterday, and it was on one of the TV's while I was doing the elliptical. So much overacting ... so very much like a night-time soap-opera ...
Sorry ladies! I know there's a bunch of you McDreamy fans out there. I am not one of them. If I want to see a bunch of posturing, I'll just go to the free weight room and watch some of the frat brothers in action.

cancer part 3

So why do people get cancer? That question sometimes comes up, in various permutations, at work. Or more often, patients attribute their cancer to something that an oncologist would not consider a likely cause. Like a middle-aged man with metastatic prostate cancer, who blames it on his summer job at a refinery back during college. Not likely.

If you surveyed the general public, I wouldn't be surprised if a majority of people considered pollution, or chemicals, or other man-made factors in our environment, to be the leading cause of cancer. And there may be some truth to that. For instance, the biggest environmental cause of cancer is probably cigarette smoke, which contributes not only to lung cancer but also bladder cancer (those chemicals have to go out somewhere), head and neck carcinoma, and a number of other malignancies. And yet, of people who smoke at least a pack a day - which is a lot more pollution than you'd get from your carpet cleaner, say, or sitting too close to the copy machine at work - less than 1 in 10 will get lung cancer.

The best description of cancer I've heard is that it's a "disease of the DNA." And when you consider the trillions of cells in our body, and the complexity of DNA and cell division, it's kind of a wonder that more people don't develop cancer more often. All it takes is one cell gone wrong, dividing uncontrollably, to start the ball rolling. And in fact, that's basically what cancer is: it almost invariably starts with just one bad cell.

So, tobacco smoke can damage DNA. So can radiation. And viruses can cause mutations that lead to cancer: most cases of cervical cancer are due to HPV, and the mononucleosis virus can contribute to some types of lymphoma, and chronic hepatitis B or C sometimes results in liver cancer. And definitely, there are other carcinogens out there, both man-made and natural. Sunlight, even, when consumed immoderately.

But mostly, I think of it this way: we live by our cells, and sometimes they go wrong on us. It's part of the price we pay for physiological sophistication developed over eons, as we evolved from simple one-celled things to fantastically complex organisms with eyeballs and emotions and innards (if you believe in that evolution stuff). Sometimes we can blame cigarettes, or faulty genes that have been passed through generations, or other factors. Aging! If a man lives to be 100, he is virtually guaranteed of developing prostate cancer. But the reality is that we can live our lives in the healthiest way conceivable, and certainly minimize our risks, but never eliminate it. Not while we're still dependent on cells ...

a simple man

I got to thinking recently about old friends from various phases of my life, and how people change over time, and so forth. And I realized something which has kind of occurred to me before, every so often, but never so vividly as now: I am nothing if not a simple man. Most of my peers have houses, and spouses, and kids, and mortgages, and other fairly grown-up elements in their lives. Careers. Lots of keys, for different stuff out in the garage. Snowblowers, and swing sets, and health club memberships, and time-shares. Bum knees. Food processors. Equity.

As for me ... well, I'm still in training mode for my job. I rent an apartment in Mad City, on the second floor of a house not too far from Willy Street. It's not quite living in a van down by the river; but I do live near a river (the mighty Yahara), in the Land of Cheese, and I just upgraded my 20-year-old car to a 10-year-old car. Never owned a house, and probably won't buy one anytime soon. I'm not fluent in any foreign languages. I like having my belly rubbed after a big meal. I tend to judge people by their physical flaws and the pitch of their voices, rather than the content of their character. I still enjoy a good creamee every now and then (favorite flavor: twist.) I can't write songs unless they're about movies, and I blog without a cause.

For whatever reason, age and education seem to have had little effect on my general sensibilities. Back in college, my friend Chud was widely considered to be the simplest of us all. But he has since attained a level of maturity and sophistication which I can only marvel at. And why is that? It's simple: I'm a simple man.

I state this not with pride, nor with great regret. I do acknowledge that we've had another simple man running this country for nearly 8 years now, and obviously he's mucked it up real good. Unlike him, I know my limits, and I also think there are many good simple men and women out there. We're too simple to form any sort of cohesive organization or society, but we do nod and smile warmly at each other when we pass on the street.

But I'm also troubled now by the thought that maybe simple really is as simple does. Should I start buying things? Read more challenging books? Or hit the bottle, hard, for a couple months? At least long enough to know what discontent and sloppy self-pity really mean? (Not that this is about self-pity. I'm really not into that. But it does have an exotic appeal at times.)

I'm not really sure what brought this all on for me, but I think it was multi-factorial. I turned 40 a few months ago, and within a year I'll complete my medical training and start practicing without supervision, and they switched the guy who plays James Bond a little while back, and some other miscellaneous stuff. Who can say for sure? But let me assure you of one thing: I take good care of my patients. And also, despite the simpleness, my views on politics and produce are spot-on.

Actually, that's more than one thing. Maybe nothing is as simple as it seems ...