Sunday, November 23, 2008


Some months ago, people, I started getting random "friend requests" in my email, from people I'd already considered to be my friends. It took me a while to figure out what was going on: Facebook. Now, if you're technically and culturally savvy enough to be reading this blog, I probably don't need to explain Facebook to you. But for those who somehow accidentally blundered their way aboard here, Facebook is a social networking site that's now enjoyed by millions of people. And not just in the US: Canada too! It's published in the English language, and you can put photos and videos on there, and it's cool. I'm not sure how it's different from Myspace - I just know it is. And I think Facebook is cooler, because I don't have a Myspace account.

I guess I have a little confession to make: I've become a Facebook addict. In a way it's not much different than email, but I've suddenly found myself in touch with people who never would return my emails before. Well, maybe "in touch" is not the most accurate term. I can still write to them, but also now I can look through their personal online photos, and try to become friends with their friends, and post ribald comments on their profiles, and so forth. It's awesome.

On the down side, messing around on Facebook makes me feel like a 12-year-old girl. But on the plus side, messing around on Facebook makes me feel like a beautiful, popular 12-year-old girl. Oh, how I wish I could do junior high school all over again! I would rule that place like Vanessa Hudgens on Ritalin.

I not only had a confession to make tonight, but a little boasting to make as well. The last time I checked, I had nearly 85 Facebook friends. I've calculated that I'll reach 100 friends by the end of 2008 (provided there's a little extra holiday cheer in people's hearts this year).

That's right - triple digits.

You know, people, there's a word for someone who has more than 100 friends on Facebook. And that word is "winner." And my list includes 5 ethnicities! I've got people from 5 different ethnic groups on my friends list, and that doesn't even count white people. I guess you could say I am rich with ethnic diversity.

And yes, I know there are others out there who count 5 or 6 or even 7 hundred people on their friends lists. But believe me when I say that my list is legit. I didn't pay anyone to enlist. And while I have begrudgingly permitted a few stragglers and vagabonds to set up temporary residence there (just where the heck did you come from, "Ellen Dennie-Beausang"???), by and large these are people who know me well and vice versa. I've broken bread with them, shared stories with them, babysat their kids, stroked their hair and murmured soothing words as they vomited in the gutter, and just generally been there for them. I've never slept with anyone just to get them to sign up for my friends list, and I rarely use the "People You may Know" feature.

It's legit, I tell you. And if you're reading this, and you're not one of my Facebook friends yet, you should know that I'm offering a special prize to the individual who becomes my 100th friend. The winner will be announced at 12:01 am on Jan. 1 ... on Facebook.


Brian said...

Okay, you've stumped me: who's the mystery man in the picure? Thomas Pynchon? The Unabomber? I'm losing serious sleep over this, dude...

Trevor said...

Don't you recognize your own best man??? That's what I looked like back in high school.

Cakebread22 said...

Don't pretend you don't know your own sister in your editorial to is great, now when you goole my name this crap pops up making me look like I try to connect with randoms. You better watch out Trevor or you won't see you neice for a long time.....