Tuesday, January 20, 2009

busted ...

Since its inception, I've tried to make this blog a refuge for the cultural cognoscenti, a place where the urbane and the elite can gather for enlightenment and socializing. Kind of like an online rave. But those days may be drawing to a close: my sister's on to me.

The other day she was apparently googling herself and stumbled across a mention of her in something I wrote about Facebook a while back. That set off a huge contretemps, the reverberations of which are still being felt. For one thing, she's threatened to withhold visiting rights to my niece from me. For another thing ... this blog may have to lose some of its edge. I'm afraid I may have to clean up my language a little bit, drop some of the references to my out-of-control singles lifestyle, etc. You see, if I'm cussing and dropping F-bombs and quoting Tupac and whatnot, she's liable to tell my dad about it, and I'd rather avoid that kind of situation. I mean, I'm not scared of my dad or anything. I live my own life, know what I'm saying? And he's way out in NY; he's not even sending me an allowance anymore, so his long-distance leverage is next to zilch. Still, it'd be nice to be able to go home and not have to deal with, you know, the disapproval.

Why do you always have to ruin everything, Ellen? Things were going just fine here until you came along! Why are you always googling yourself? And who cares if you pop up here on a google search? Do you really think other people are googling you? Do you think someone's gonna break in your house, because they can find you on Google?

Burglars! Hey burglars! She lives at 1704 Rosemont Ave, Oak Wood, IL 87112. On the northwest edge of Chicago, in a cul-de-sac. It's the third house from the end on the left. Nobody's home on weekdays until after 4:30 or so, and there's a spare key under the green rock on the right-hand side of the garage. Don't worry about the alarm system - they don't have one! They just put that sticker by the door to scare off people like you.

One other thing, Ellen: as soon as Reese hits 5, don't be surprised if she wants to go away and live with Uncle T. Don't know if you've noticed, but she has a lot more fun when I'm around. Just like everyone else ...

No comments: