nirvana

This is the first holiday season I've had to blog about, and there was so much going on that I'm still catching up with all of it here. But here's something that's like 4 or 5 stories wrapped in one ...

As you may know, something weird is happening with TV broadcasting soon, where you'll need some special converter box if you've got an old TV. That's all I know about it. And I did have an old TV. I mean, it was fine for my needs, but I was a bit scared about these changes soon taking place. So I got a new TV. The first new one I've ever owned, in fact. And it's a honey! It burbles. I swear to you, when I turn it on, first it makes this burbling noise and then the picture comes on. Cool.

Another thing I did over the holidays: well, I've had this Pizza Hut gift card that someone gave me over a year ago. I just don't go to Pizza Hut much. And the gift card had $10 on it, which I figured might not be enough to get a Pizza Hut pizza, and I didn't really want to shell out any of my own money for Pizza Hut pizza. But then I heard they also had chicken wings; so I figured, you know, what the hell. The wings were only about 7 bucks, but I couldn't bear the thought of going back to Pizza Hut to spend $3, so I got an order of lasagna too. No pizza.

I'm also a fan of the HBO show "Entourage." Not such a huge fan that I'd actually pay for HBO, but I do enjoy it on DVD. I've been getting discs from the Mad City public library and watching it episode by episode, here and there. Usually there's a wait of a couple weeks to get the next installment, but right after Christmas I got the one I'd been waiting for.

And finally, we had a big cold snap here recently. An Arctic front or something. It was very cold, just the kind of weather that really makes you want to stay indoors.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

One of my favorite episodes of "Seinfeld" was the one where Kramer gradually accumulated the trappings of a pimp over the course of one show. First Elaine gave him a walking stick from J. Peterman, then George loaned him a pink Cadillac, then he borrowed the dreamcoat from a local production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." And as he was walking down the street with his walking stick to the Cadillac, wearing the dreamcoat, some big floppy hat got blown off a woman's head and rolled right to him. And he put it on, and BAM! All of the sudden, it was like he was a pimp.

So, let me recap my situation: I go to Pizza Hut in the bitter cold and get some wings and lasagna. I bring it home, where I've got a library copy of "Entourage" from Season 3 waiting. I settle down on my couch with the stuff from Pizza Hut, which actually turns out to be better than expected. I'm watching "Entourage" on my brand-new burbling TV. And while it was freezing outside, I was cozy inside with a blanket wrapped around me and wing sauce all over my face.

I didn't feel like a pimp exactly, but I did feel special. So special, I did the only thing I could think of at the time: I threw open the window and screamed out, "I'm king of the wooooorrrrld!" Several times. Until it started to get cold in the living room. Crazy, I know; but sometimes, you just have to let the world know who's boss ...